Sometimes copywriters don’t get enough credit for all the work they do.
I mean, look at press releases. Just imagine some poor guy having to write copy about a new product. A dud product, but he has to sell the heck out of it. Or someone made a mistake and they MUST apologize, but at the same time they really don’t want to. You must sound as if you were sorry but not to the point you get all the blame. That’s a tough position to be in and they have to do it every day!
So, he grabs another cup of coffee and tries to make everyone happy.
He was taught that effective copywriting is about leaving only what’s important. This isn’t it. This time he has to dilute, pouring meaningless words, euphemisms and clichés until no one knows what he was talking about. Three cups of coffee later he writes something like:
“This is our time to accelerate the development of groundbreaking technologies that will support you in a connected world that is ripe with opportunity and disruption.” (We’ll do some cool things sometime)
“[Company name] is proud to introduce the highly anticipated [product]. With the success of the previously introduced [another product] our team is confident that [product] will meet the need of our customers.” (Buy it, please?)
“While we are disappointed in our [current year] performance, we remain keenly focused on driving profitable top-line growth and investing our resources to deliver superior financial results over time.” (We’ll make a dime next time)
“We believe [company name] will help change by inspiring our industry to once again revolutionize, and revive its march toward its full and ever expanding potential.” (Huh, give me money)
Hating himself for the abomination he just made and feeling a bit dizzy from all that coffee he finishes right before the deadline. Phew.
He dreams about the day he confesses that he would prefer to cut the clutter and have something worthwhile to talk about in the first place… Well, not today!
Maybe next time pal.